SHHHHHH! Just Listen!

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."  Leo Buscaglia

"Does Pamela talk a lot at home?" my first grade teacher, Mrs. Kensing, asked my  mom at their first parent/teacher conference. "Yes, yes she does.  Is there a problem?" my mother replied nervously.  "No," the teacher (politely, I'm sure,)  responded.  "I was just curious, because if there is no one for her to talk to, she will just talk to herself."  My mother and I have laughed about this conversation numerous times over the years. Yes, I admit it. I am a talker.  I will talk to pretty much anyone at virtually any time.  Yes, that does include myself.

While my ability to engage others in conversation is a trait that has served me well as an educator, I have become convinced that its much less "showy" alter-ego, the ability to listen, is a characteristic I should seek to develop.

How often, in our technology filled, uber-connected, get it done yesterday, move on to the next thing/project/place world, do we take the time to slow down and listen-really listen-to another human being?Sit down, unplugged, turned off, tuned in, undivided attention--LISTEN.  Such moments are rare treasures for at least two reasons.  First, deep listening requires the greatest gift we can offer--time.  We hurry and rush from one deadline, one appointment, one sporting event, one work/school/church/______you fill in the blank function to the next, checking things off our to do list, on a mission to maximize our precious moments, convinced we have absolutely none to spare.  We often achieve much, but at the end of the day, we sacrifice the deep, rich, personal connections that we are hardwired by our creator to thrive on.  Cultures around the world and throughout history have placed a huge value on the currency of time, but I truly suspect few have had a greater need for the depth of relationship that grows with the investment of time than 21st century America.  Secondly, very few of us have honed the skill of listening itself.  Not conversing, responding, or turning the discussion to ourselves: just listening; with mind and heart fully present.  Often listening needs to be paired with the wisdom of silence; not offering solutions or suggestions, merely hearing and honoring the dignity and importance of another with our attention.

Scripture is filled with those who took the time to listen to others.  Early in the Old Testament, Moses and Aaron calmly heard the disputes and grumblings of the people.  Solomon must have listened with great patience as the two women shared their heated dispute over the baby.  Jesus himself left for us a perfect example of listening to every hurting, sinful, disease ridden, demon filled soul who came across his path. How he must have been bone weary from listening as the disciples tried to tell him how things should have been done, yet he patiently suffered them gladly!  I am convinced if we had been there to meet and talk to the Savior physically, the encounter would have left us changed by His ability to make us feel as if we were the only people in the universe, so great was His gift of making people really feel heard.  Imagine the Samaritan woman from the well. Her exchange with Jesus was brief, but I like to imagine that long after her dark hair had turned gray and the twinkle in her eye had faded, she eagerly shared about her encounter with the man who knew everything about her and offered her living water with anyone and everyone who would hear.

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters; You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.  James 1:19.  Most of us will never have the discernment of Moses or the wisdom of Solomon.  While we certainly can't claim the divinity of Christ, we can lay claim to His Spirit living within us. We can do exactly what He commanded us to to and offer a cup of cold water in His name, in whatever form that may take.  I am realizing that often, that gift begins with a listening, attentive ear and heart.