It's Never Too Late to Become What You Might Have Been

"It's never too late to become what you might have been."  I absolutely love the hope that bubbles out and spills over the rims of this thought.  I most recently found this quoted in Mark Batterson's book, The Circle Maker.  A little research led me to discover that the quote is most likely originally attributed to George Eliot, a Victorian era novelist actually named Mary Ann Evans.  I can only imagine the feelings she must have had as she penned those words; a woman living in a society where in order to use her God given talent she had to masquerade as something she wasn't.  

While Evans' story seems extreme to those of us living in the open society that is 21st century America, it strikes me that the modern version of her dilemma might be more related to the fact that we live at such a pace that we never slow down enough to ponder some pretty basic questions.  Our world is filled with rushing, eye-popping images, deadlines, demands, and mind numbing noise; all of which serve to prevent us from asking fundamental questions like,  "What did the Lord put me here to accomplish?" "What is it that I want out of life?"  Many of us are are good at handling responsibilities and meeting obligations, but do we stop to figure out whether we are really on the path that the Lord intended specifically for us?  Are we using the unique gifts and talents He gave us to fully glorify Him?  Batterson says, "We have not, because we ask not, and we ask not because we don't know what to ask for."  I wonder if that thought is as disturbingly true for others as it is for me some days.

In my little world, the past couple of years have been profoundly trans-formative.  On January 7, 2012, I embarked on a health journey that resulted in a total weight loss of 75-plus pounds.  I am rather "petite" to be politically correct...ok, who am I kidding?  I am 4'9", which makes me down right short!  My total loss was approximately 45% of my body weight, so in a very real way, I am a brand new person.  The process was steady, slow, and for the very first time in my life, healthy.  My success was based on the fact that I (finally) let go of Pam's way of doing things.  I committed 100-plus percent to the program I selected, (Weight Watchers) and I decided if things didn't work, by golly the problem would be that the program failed, not me.  Turns out, if you do the program, it works!  No tricks, no gimmicks, it just flat stinkin' works! No quick fixes, no short cuts, no magical secrets.  My point is that I realized I had so many mixed up, crazy ideas that I was absolutely certain were true, I didn't allow myself the kind of success I could have had much sooner if I had only been willing to slow down and let go. I had to finally decide that my way hadn't worked for a lifetime, and maybe it was time to surrender to someone who actually knew something about the weight loss business.

Somewhere along the way, it occurred to me that perhaps this was true in all areas of our lives.  Maybe I had done other things in certain ways because it was how I had always done them, so I began asking the hard questions.  The kind of questions that stop you dead in your tracks or wake you from a sound sleep in the middle of the night.  The kind of questions that cause you to reinvent not only who you are on the outside, but who you are at the core of your being.  The kinds of questions that bring you to your knees.

Just as I asked the weight loss pros about changing my body, I have earnestly sought the Lord about what He truly wants for me. Matthew 7:7-8 says, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."  I am utterly convinced that the Lord of the universe wants to hear our concerns, and that Matthew 7:7-8 is a promise straight from Him.  So I am peeling my fingers one at a time from the steering wheel of my life and asking the ultimate professional what He wants for me next. What am I finding?  Well, turns out there are no quick fixes, no short cuts, and no magical secrets.  Just a Heavenly Father who loves me dearly, wants me to trust Him, and promises to give me good gifts!  I know that He wants to teach me how to be a better wife, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, and teacher.  He is also showing me that rules and limits I put on myself for a lifetime, don't necessarily have to be so.

Recently my husband and I traveled to Arizona to visit the Grand Canyon. I had visited as a child--a fat, asthmatic child--who had no idea it would ever be possible for me to go beyond the rim and hike into the canyon.  I was nervous, but my husband and I were both convinced that this was an adventure we were to take together.  On two separate days, we hiked 3 miles down (and three miles back up!) experiencing the beauty of two different trails. The views were absolutely breathtaking, the challenges of the hike were daunting, and the feeling of going beyond what I had always perceived as a limit: priceless.

I am becoming more and more convinced every single day that it really never is to late to become what you might have been. It's the journey, the adventure, the dream of a lifetime. 

Proverbs 13:12 "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life."